Talk:Bald eagle
This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Bald eagle article. | |||
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This article is a good article. This means the community feels it is written well. |
![]() | A fact from Bald eagle appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know? column on 21 October 2015. The text of the entry was as follows:
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![]() | This article contains a translation of Bald Eagle from en.wikipedia. |
Eptalon's quick comments
change- Sea eagle, or bald eagle? - make up your mind, or explain that sometimes one is called the other
I explained when it first came out. Belle tête-à-tête 09:36, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
- I am a bit "unnerved" by the sentence structure. I really think you can use more complex sentences, use comaas, or link two or more parts with conjunctions, such as "and" and "or".
Yes, I did. Belle tête-à-tête 09:36, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
Intro /Infobox
change- We get a nice picture of the US, with various colors. Can we get an exlanation/legend of the colors, too?
- Intro too long compared ot other sections
I removed some parts of the intro.
- Only link the first occurrence of a word ("talons", eg.)
- Grammar: It begins to look for a mate when it becomes four years or five years old. -> ...when it becomes four or five years old
Fixed, I'm so sorry for having such a bad grammar.
Other misc comments
change- Sections like "name" are too short to justify a section; move one level down and merge to the section above ("description"); same for "In captivity". Alternative is to make the section longer.
Not done I'm so sorry, but I think it will make the intro too long if it is above description. However, I did merge the "in captivity" section.
- Try "guide" the reader, from one idea to the next. At the moment, some of the article reads like a collection of facts. Also do not repeat yourself, if you have to re-use an idea, phrase it differently.
I tried to make it smoother, but I will work on it more later.
- Revise the article text: Sentences like "The Bald Eagle is very powerful when it flies." are misleading. According to EnWikt, powerful means Having, or capable of exerting power, potency or influence. This is certainly not something that can apply to the flight of a bird. (perhaps look at en:Andean Condor to get ideas how to talk about the flight of birds. (Note that this comment probably applies to other places of the article as well. First of all, scientific writing is about precision). Other people who are native speakers can probably help in this regard as well.
Okay, I changed it to "is very fast", which sounds better I think.
So far, these are the comments I found after a quick half-hour glance at the article. --Eptalon (talk) 20:14, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you for the comments! I hope I fixed them enough to satisfy you. Happy changing, Belle tête-à-tête 09:36, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
Megan's PGA comments
changeHere are some things that need fixing:
- It is the symbol of the United States of America. I don't think "symbol" is the right word. Something like "national bird" would probably sound better.
- This sea eagle (sometimes they are called by that name) is in most of Canada and Alaska, all of the United States, and the northern part of Mexico. This sounds just a bit awkward. What about something like, "The Bald Eagle is a kind of sea eagle (it is sometimes called by this name). It is found in most of Canada and Alaska, all of the United States, and the northern part of Mexico."
- Fixed: Yeah, it does sound slightly awkward. I'm sorry for being so bad at English as I am Korean :P and I fail in grammar.
- It lives near big parts of water where there are a lot of food and old trees to nest in. "Parts" doesn't seem like it's the right word. Maybe "areas" would work better. Also, "there are" should be "there is".
- The Bald Eagle is a large bird. Its body is as big as about 70–102 centimeters (28–40 in) and the space of its wings are 2.44 m (96 in). The word "wingspan" should be used instead of "space of its wings".
- It also has feet with golden talons, and a hooked beak. I think you mean golden feet, as its talons are black.
- Later on in the same paragraph, you have ...and the toes are short with large talons.[3] The beak is large and hooked.[4] This information should be merged with the above.
- Before Bald Eagles become adults, their wing color is brown, and usually also speckled with white dots until the fifth year.[1][3] Something like "and they are usually speckled" would sound better.
- The difference between Bald Eagles and Golden Eagles are that they have a larger head with a bigger beak, and their legs do not have feathers.[5] This sentence I found a bit confusing, as adult Bald Eagles and Golden Eagles are quite different. Perhaps something like, "The difference between immature Bald Eagles and adult Golden Eagles...". Also "are that they" should say "is that they".
- The length of the Bald Eagle’s body is from 70–102 centimeters (28–40 in). Adult females have a wingspan of up to 2.44 m (96 in), while adult males may be as small as 1.68 m (66 in).[1] Some of this information was already stated in the first paragraph of this section. Both pieces of info should be merged together.
- The size of the bird is different by the place it lives in. Again, sounds a bit strange. Maybe something like, "The size of the bird depends on where it lives".
- The smallest species are the kinds that live in Florida... Another sentence that could probably be changed: "The smallest birds are found in Florida".
- The largest types of Bald Eagles are Alaskan birds, where large females may be as much as 7.5 kilograms (17 lb).[4] Maybe, "The largest Bald Eagles are found in Alaska, where females..."
- When they are taken captive, they may live more longer. It should be "much longer".
That's all I have for the lead and the Description section. I will review more of the article once these concerns are fixed. Megan ( t/c ) 13:59, 26 May 2010 (UTC)
- How can I ever thank you enough? :) At least, I think, I fixed most of the comments, and - I believe and hope - the article does not look indifferent? - Well, thank you once again. Warmly, Belle tête-à-tête 07:33, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
More
change- "Sea eagle" is linked in the "Name" section, but not in the lead. It should be linked on its first usage.
- Same with
hooked,adult,nest,kilometers,migrate,fish,fawn,water,year,die,talon,weigh,eggs,healthy, andendangered species. All should be linked on their first usage.
- This sea eagle gets both its normal and scientific names from its head. "Normal" doesn't seem right. Should probably be "English", as this sounds better and is consistent with the next sentence.
- Done normal -> common —Classical Esthertalk 11:33, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
- There are two other main species of the Bald Eagle.[1][11] Should be "subspecies", not "species".
- It is found in the northern United States, Canada and Alaska.[1][12] There should be a comma after "Canada", since this article seems to be using American grammar.
- "Eagle" is linked twice. Link on first usage.
- This species both have white heads of the same size, although the White-tailed Eagle has a more pale feather color. Should be "These", not "This".
- The pair parted into two from other Sea Eagles.[14] The two species probably parted at the North Pacific. These sentences need to be clarified, as they are quite confusing.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 00:58, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
- The White-tailed Eagle is in Eurasia, and the Bald Eagle is in the east parts of North America.[15] Should say "eastern" instead of "east".
- Perch, roost, disturbance, and groves, should either be linked, or changed to something more simple.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 00:58, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
- The picked tree must be open, and safe from the prey. There should be no "the" before the word "prey".
- However, the height or kind of the tree is not as important as having other trees surrounding it with a very near place full of water.[16] Again, no "the" before the word "tree".
- Even though they are so sensitive of humans, a family of bald eagles recently moved into Harlem, NY.[18] First part of the sentence doesn't sound quite right. Maybe something like, "Even though they are very sensitive to humans,...". Also, "bald eagles" should be capitalized, to be consistent with the rest of the article.
- In the 1950s, the eagles were largely living in Alaska, the north and east part of Canada, and Florida.[19] Last part of the sentence should say, "...the northern and eastern parts of Canada...".
- Some other words that are overlinked: Eagle, Alaska, Canada, Mexico, Florida, population, beak, Golden Eagle, whistle, Eurasian, salmon, carrion, Wild Turkey, and spiritual.
I will continue my review once these are addressed. Cheers, Megan ( t/c ) 16:28, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you, dear Esther, and I have fixed all the rest and scrupulous jobs. :) I hope this will give you, Megan, the liberty to continue your review. Belle tête-à-tête 00:58, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
Some more
changeThis article is looking much better now. Good work on quickly fixing my comments! However, I do have some more...
- It also has golden feet with large talons, and a wikt:hooked beak. I believe you forgot to finish piping the link.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- The word "kilometer" is linked and spelled out, while "mph" is abbreviated and not linked. These should be consistent and linked.
Not done Sorry. :) It seems to me that the convert template isn't fixable, unless you want me to write all of the things down manually in copy-paste again, which might make it less consistent. Bella tête-à-tête 01:27, 23 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Kilometers" is linked twice.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Its dive speed is between 120–160 kilometers per hour (75–99 mph), though it does not dive a lot.[21] The word "between" isn't need here.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- "Migrates" is also linked twice.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- In the Pacific Northwest, spawning trout and salmon gives most of the Bald Eagle's food.[22] This sentence is worded a bit oddly. Maybe something like, "...spawning trout and salmon are the main food of the Bald Eagle."
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Sometimes, eagles may eat a very lot of carrion, especially in winter. There should be no "very".
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- They also may sometimes eat the leftover food from campsites or garbage dumps. This may be just me, but "may sometimes" seems a little too much. Just "They also sometimes eat..." sounds better.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- The birds they eat includes grebes, ducks, gulls, geese, and more. Should be "include". As a reader, I'm wondering what other kinds of birds Bald Eagles eat, as it says "and more". Maybe you could phrase it differently: "Some of the birds they eat include grebes, ducks, gulls, and geese."
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- To hunt fish, which are easily their most important food, the eagle swoops down over the water and snatches the fish out of the water with its talons. "Which are easily their most important food" doesn't go in this sentence. This should be merged with the first paragraph in the "Diet" section. This should also have a ref (unless ref 20 covers this).
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Or, on other times, Bald Eagles will steal fish and other kinds of food away from other animals.[24] I think you would be okay by just saying "Other times, Bald Eagles..."
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- "Die" is linked twice.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- When Bald Eagles courtesy, they call and show their flying skills. "Courtesy" doesn't seem right to me. Do you mean "court"?
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- The nest of the Bald Eagle is larger than any other nest in North America. This needs a reference.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Again, in the "Reproduction" section, you have "meters" and "millimeters" spelled out, but not "ft" and "in". Be consistent, and both should be linked.
Not done I'm sorry, Megan, but because the meters, millimeters, feet, and inches are not spelled out manually, but they appear because I use the {{convert}} templates. I can't fix that; but I believe the template is more correct, and so some parts are actually supposed to be spelled out and some parts are supposed to be abreviated. :) Cheerfully, Bella tête-à-tête 01:15, 23 October 2010 (UTC)
- Same with "tonne" and "short ton", as one is linked but not the other.
Not done Same reason as above - the template seems to be more correct. Bella tête-à-tête 01:16, 23 October 2010 (UTC)
- Eagles have between one and three eggs per year, but most of the three chicks cannot fly well. I don't understand this last part of the sentence. Should be clarified.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Both the male and female take turns incubating the [[egg]s. I think you can see what needs to be fixed here.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Once easily seen on the continent, the Bald Eagle was close to becoming endangered because of the use of the pesticide DDT.[29] I think you mean "extinct", not "endangered".
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Also, oil and lead was another big reason why Bald Eagles began to die out.[31] Should be, "Also, oil and lead were other big reasons why..."
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- You abbreviate the United States of America many different ways: USA, US, U.S. Be consistent.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 01:27, 23 October 2010 (UTC)
- The 1940 Bald Eagle Protection Act in the U.S. This isn't a complete sentence.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- "Golden Eagle" is linked twice.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- The Bald Eagle was said as an endangered species in 1967, and the penalties for people who killed the species grew more and more. The first part of the sentence sounds strange. How about, "The Bald Eagle was an endangered..."?
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Also in 1972, DDT was banned in the United States.[32] I believe there is a comma after "Also".
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Because of all these hard work, the Bald Eagle’s population began to rise again. Because of all "this" hard work, not "these".
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- To keep Bald Eagles in captivity, the workers must be experienced in caring for eagles. Tense is wrong. More like, "To keep Bald Eagles in captivity, the workers had to be experienced in caring for eagles." "Captivity" should also be linked.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- However, this letter was about the Society of the Cincinnati, and it did not say about the Bald Eagle or the Wild Turkey.[40] I believe the word "anything" is missing between "say" and "about".
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- "Messengers" and "gods" should be linked.
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- The Lakota people, for instance, give an eagle feather as a symbol of honor to person who achieves a task. Should say, "...as a symbol of honor to a person..."
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- During the Sun Dance, which is danced by a lot of Indian tribes, the eagle is included in many different ways. I believe it is "Native American tribes", not "Indian tribes".
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Presently, the eager feather law says that the Native American tribes cannot use Bald or Golden Eagle feathers for their religious or spiritual use. I think you mean "eagle", not "eager".
Fixed Belle tête-à-tête 01:09, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
- Date formats are mixed in the following refs: 18, 21, 32, 33, 34, 40, and 42
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 01:10, 23 October 2010 (UTC)
- Websites in the "Other websites" section should use the {{cite web}} template.
Well, I believe that's it. Great job so far, and keep it up! Megan ( t/c ) 17:33, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
Quick comment on Description--needs checking
changeSomething doesn't match up here, but I do not have the references to fix it.
Near the beginning of description, it says, "Adult females weigh exactly 5.8 kilograms (13 lb), while males weigh 4.1 kilograms (9.0 lb)." which sounds oddly specific to me.
Later it reads "The size of the bird depends on where it lives. The smallest birds are in Florida, where an adult male is only about 2.3 kilograms (5.1 lb). The largest Bald Eagles are in Alaska, where large females may be as much as 7.5 kilograms (17 lb)."
Thanks, Ted (talk) 06:48, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
Ye Olde TRM's comments
change- Just my opinion, but the Latin name in parentheses may not be obvious to a Simple English reader, so, as a minimum, I'd have (Latin name: ... or something similar.
- ((subst:dykfixed}} Fixed: Nice suggestion, thank you.
- "It is in most " not great, I think "It can be found" is much better and still simple enough.
- "Alaska, all of the United States" I thought Alaska was in the United States? And is it found in Hawaii too?
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Don't repeat links (e.g. Canada and Alaska in the lead).
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "The Bald Eagle is..." not keen that you link just Eagle here. I'd unlink it. You've already said in the lead that it's a type of Sea Eagle..
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Its body is as big as about " do you mean this is how tall they are?
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "exactly 5.8 kilograms (13 lb)," really? "exactly"? Especially when you later say "The size of the bird depends on where it lives..."
Fixed: Took out "exactly". Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "their wing color is brown" -> "their wings are brown" would suffice.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "The difference between .. is.." should be "differences ... are" because you list more than one.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Bald Eagle on sand." remove the full stop.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Bald Eagles in the wild usually live around 20 years, with the oldest living to be about 30. When they are taken captive, they live much longer." could use a reference, although for GA not completely essential.
Not done Because you said it was not completely essential, and I can't find any more references, I'll skip this one. Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- What does "Also see text" in the infobox mean? It appears to link to a non-existent "taxonomy" section on this page.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Linnaeus’s" worth noting who he is here, and probably giving his full name?
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "There are two other main subspecies of the Bald Eagle." two other? I thought there were two in total? And that sentence, followed by a bullet point list, should end in a colon.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "(Audubon, 1827)" unclear to a non-expert what this means, I guess it was "named by Audubon in 1827"?
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "lives more south than north" confusing!
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Bald Eagle with a salmon." remove full stop.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "needs old trees" followed by "They usually pick a tree for these things" reads poorly.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "The picked tree must be open" - not sure what you mean by this. Do you mean "have an opening" or "in the open" or something different?
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Usually, Bald Eagles will go to large places with trees that are inside big cities" surely that should be "Sometimes" rather than "Usually"?
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "NY" - say "New York".
Fixed: (Wow, I was reading this and I accidentally really said out loud, New York... Everyone was staring at me :P)
- "The Bald Eagle's natural home is in most of North America, including most of Canada, all of the United States, and northern Mexico. In the 1950s, the eagles were largely living in Alaska, the northern and eastern parts of Canada, and Florida.[19]" You've said most, if not all of this already.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "it flies at about 48 kilometers each hour" okay, remove "at" here if you're not going to use the conventional "per hour".
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "also eaten when able." I would remove "when able".
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Link talon.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Or link it to claw and then unlink claw in the following sentence.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "15-pound fawn" you've used kg first throughout, be consistent.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Two chicks (eaglets)." remove period.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "court" is not simple.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- short tons first or tonnes first, choose and be consistent.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "on the continent," probably best to say "continental United States" because this is ambiguous right now.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "The DDT made an adult bird's calcium become destroyed" why not "The DDT destroyed an adult bird's calcium"?
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- "Seal of the President of the United States." remove period.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- seal links to a dab
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- letter links to a page which doesn't necessarily explain which one.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Ref 23, reduce those over-capitalisated letters!
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Ref 26 (and check others), author name goes "last, first" in general.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Same for ref 41.
Fixed Bella tête-à-tête 06:42, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Identification section - the page range needs an en-dash.
Fixed Otherwise, this is definitely on the way to GA. Good work. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:42, 28 October 2010 (UTC)
- Oh, thank you, dear TRM. =) I've had all of them Fixed or attended to. I hope it is ready now? Cheerfully, Bella tête-à-tête 06:40, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
Linked some infrequent vocabulary
changeHi,
Each of these words already have article on SEWP and aren't so common, so I went ahead and linked them: Extinction, claw, shore, species, and symbol. Please let me know if I'm linking too much. There is one other word that is less likely for some readers to understand: "speckled". I wasn't sure what was best to do with that to keep it simple. Looks like a great article. Thanks, Ted (talk) 09:41, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Hello, Teddy sweetie! :) Thank you for your help. I don't mind at all: it was very kind of you to go ahead and be bold! Besides that, don't worry about "speckled". I'm sure readers will be able to understand it, and it's simple enough because it is in the Basic English wordlist, and that means that it is simple enough to be in the article without staying linked. But thanks for your help, once again. Lovingly, Bella tête-à-tête 12:09, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Actually Belinda, Ted's right, it's a gasp! complex word. I've created a Simple English Wiktionary page for it though (ta-daa) so feel free to add it in. :) Love, —Clementina talk 12:32, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Oh, thanks, will do. =] Cheerfully, Bella tête-à-tête 12:46, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
- Actually Belinda, Ted's right, it's a gasp! complex word. I've created a Simple English Wiktionary page for it though (ta-daa) so feel free to add it in. :) Love, —Clementina talk 12:32, 29 October 2010 (UTC)
Eagle feather law
changeNear the very end of the article, "the eagle feather law" is mentioned but nowhere else explained. Maybe it would be good to briefly mention explain it, perhaps in the section about it being the national symbol of the US (and thus legally protected there)? Kansan (talk) 16:41, 1 November 2010 (UTC)
- Fixed: I wrote a quite simple description about the Eagle Feather Law; I hope it is enough to satisfy you. :) Cheerfully, Bella tête-à-tête 12:35, 4 November 2010 (UTC)